The non Fintech joke thread

Isn’t it time we had a humour thread on this forum?

I’ll start.

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image

I’m sorry

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… Waits patiently… :stuck_out_tongue:

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

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Haha how funny what a sick joke

I actually think it is better than yours.

Your avatar is postman pat so it’s clear you make mistakes regularly no offense xx

Wow, I think we need to have a rule that the jokes should at minimum be funny

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And seemingly, by the looks of it, just thinking you can use the word ‘joke’ in order to hide from the fact that you’re just attacking someone, something or just generally being bitchy.

But seriously though, folks: Thanks for allowing me the privalage of being able to start my weekend by being dragged into a petty and childish flag war. Appreciated.

Might I suggest that before hitting the post button on this thread, members ponder the following: “am I being a dick”.

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I’m not sure it’s a joke… but it made me smile when I saw this a while back in B&Q.

lolz beat me to it

This notification from Barclays :joy:

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Got similar from RBS

Jokes on them… I only use them for the switching bonus

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I got one of those, and felt more like I’d been mugged previously when I clicked though and discovered they’d sent it to everyone but you had to have a paid tier account to actually get any real difference…

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Lim wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Lim looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.

So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.” So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Lim asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”

Confused, Lim asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married!”

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